Ignoramus: An open letter

Dear Friend,

I know that you get busy in your life, and I know that you have other priorities, but I wish I could tell you how badly you hurt me when you ignore me. I would so much rather you tell me that you're busy, or that you hate me, or that you'd rather me harm myself in the most painful way over being ignored.

My anxiety has been through the roof recently, and I've told you this, and then when I reach out to you to try to just find some level ground you don't even try anymore. Days pass by, and I hear one or two words from you, if even that. Can you possibly imagine what that does to me? You're literally feeding the beast within.

With the one person I trust to talk to about my issues blows me off, I then an stuck battling thoughts of inadequacy, in addition to the situation that started the episode in the first place.

You have then started a vicious cycle with me because I'll get clingy, looking to be saved from my anxiety. You will continue to do what you're doing. Things will get worse until I'm convinced you hate me and that you never want to talk to me again, no matter how irrational it may be. I don't realize it. I just know what I'm feeling.

I just wish I could find the words to express how badly I hurt when you ignore me. It makes me feel like you've given up on me, so maybe I'll give up on me too.
Location: Casper, WY, USA

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