BLOGS: Lonesome


As one may gather from the lead photo, I am feeling very lonely lately.

I can't help but imagine a perfect life, where I have a beautiful girlfriend and the relationship is in the stage where we are planning the rest of our lives together. The primary problem I see with that is that I have literally zero experience with relationships. As much as I hate to admit it, I have never been involved in a serious, romantic relationship of any sort. This raises self-doubt about my ability to succeed in a relationship.

Aside from the lack of relationships, I believe that I have been successful in obtaining and maintaining long term friendships, which is a less complicated version of a romantic relationship. It certainly is a relationship of some form. 

This lonely feeling is driven by many things, most of which I am not willing to disclose at this point. Part of it stems from being around so many who brag about their successful attempts at romance. Most of them are talking about significantly more extreme versions of romance, which I do not desire at this time. I crave a companionship. I crave compassion. Someone I can lean on, a hand to hold. You get the point. 

I would be very content with a very close friendship, especially because things have happened in my dear friends' lives that maintaining the level of friendship displayed in the not-so-distant past would potentially cause damage to the reputation of said friends. 

 Thinking, I am not sure that anyone can do about my feelings, but I suppose it is healthy to talk about them. Maybe my best bet it to sit here and wait for something great to happen to me. It seems pretty apparent that I posses major atelophobia, which inhibits my ability to be confident. 

Any ideas? Can anyone out there help me? 

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