BLOG: Hurt
What is it with me that all of my friendships seem to be falling through the cracks?
No matter how hard I try to make things work out, no matter how hard I try to be friends with someone, to show them how much I care from them, it seems to me that everyone is just slapping me in the face.
I know I am not normal. I am off balance, and I need help. I attend counselling weekly, sometimes more than that. I am going through the right steps to become a better person. . .
Don't you want to be here with me when I am better? Don't you want to see my progress and be proud of me for how far I have come? I used to be significantly worse off. I have come a long way in the past 6 years. I still have work to do on myself, but don't we all? Isn't that the point of life? To better yourself through the course of your lifetime? To constantly become a better person?
I think I am a pretty awesome dude. It took me twenty-something years to learn to love myself. I have a lot to offer. I am intelligent, funny, and just a downright good person. I TRY MY HARDEST to be a good person. What else do I need to do to become a better person? Why is everyone turning their backs on me?
Part of the reason that people are turning their backs on me is because of the BITCH, Megan Cassidy with the Star-Tribune. MEGAN, GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU SLANDER SOMEONE!
Let's take a minute to talk to some of these failing friendships.
Emily, I love you dearly. You are such an amazing person. You are everything I wish I could be. You are very smart, talented, fun to be around. You are so spiritually strong, something I wish I could have. You have been an amazing friend for many years now. I feel like I am loosing your friendship, and I don't know why. I have tried to maintain communication with you for months now, and all of it seems to be to no avail. I want you to know that I think you are worth the internal struggle that I am going through. Most of the time, when I have to fight to maintain a friendship, I give up and walk away. You have been there for me for years now, and I don't want to loose your friendship. I am afraid that I am loosing you to other things, and I don't like the feeling. I wish I knew how to make things better; I wish I knew how to make it all better again. :/
Kerry, I thought you loved me? You told me that countless times. *(Now, to clarify this to other readers, I mean as a friend.)* Are you a liar? Were you just playing games with me? You lead me on for weeks thinking that our friendship was just fine, and then all of the sudden, you turn around and cut off all ties with me. Pardon my french, but, WHAT THE HELL?!?! I sincerely care about you. You are such an amazing person. I don't know what to think of you anymore. I stood by you the whole time, fighting for you. Through everything that went on with other people, I stood out there fighting on your side, only for you to return by stabbing me in the back. I wrote letters to you when I was gone. I wrote 30-40 letters telling you how I was okay, and letting you know what happened. I was going to send them all to you to show you how much I care. I am sorry that I went away. I am sorry you didn't know what happened. If I could go back and change it, I would. If I could go back and change everything about what happened, I would. It was an honor to meet you, and it was a pleasure being your friend. I wish we could still be friends, and the choice is yours, it always has been.
Kersty, You are my little sister, but I don't know what to think about you. You can relate to me a lot, if you just sat down and looked at our similarities. I wish I could take all of your pain away, I wish i could let you see how pretty you really are. You are gorgeous, and I wish that you didn't have to go through all the things that you do. I would gladly go through all the pain you are having now, if it meant that you didn't have to go through it. I have struggled liking myself for almost twenty years now. I know exactly how it feels. If I could be a different person, I would be. I detest who I am, and what I have done. Please don't be like the others; please don't leave me.
Well, that's it for now. I will write again really soon. I have so much I want to talk about.
If you are reading this, I want to say thank you. I keep a lot of my feelings bottled up inside me, and they eat at me until i explode with emotion. By you reading this, you are giving me a voice. You are giving me a release. You are being someone that I can talk to, even if I don't know you. I appreciate you "listening" to me, and my feelings. If you have something you would like to say to me, please comment on this blog, right below. Thank you.
Luc A. Colgrove
No matter how hard I try to make things work out, no matter how hard I try to be friends with someone, to show them how much I care from them, it seems to me that everyone is just slapping me in the face.
I know I am not normal. I am off balance, and I need help. I attend counselling weekly, sometimes more than that. I am going through the right steps to become a better person. . .
Don't you want to be here with me when I am better? Don't you want to see my progress and be proud of me for how far I have come? I used to be significantly worse off. I have come a long way in the past 6 years. I still have work to do on myself, but don't we all? Isn't that the point of life? To better yourself through the course of your lifetime? To constantly become a better person?
I think I am a pretty awesome dude. It took me twenty-something years to learn to love myself. I have a lot to offer. I am intelligent, funny, and just a downright good person. I TRY MY HARDEST to be a good person. What else do I need to do to become a better person? Why is everyone turning their backs on me?
Part of the reason that people are turning their backs on me is because of the BITCH, Megan Cassidy with the Star-Tribune. MEGAN, GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU SLANDER SOMEONE!
Let's take a minute to talk to some of these failing friendships.
Emily, I love you dearly. You are such an amazing person. You are everything I wish I could be. You are very smart, talented, fun to be around. You are so spiritually strong, something I wish I could have. You have been an amazing friend for many years now. I feel like I am loosing your friendship, and I don't know why. I have tried to maintain communication with you for months now, and all of it seems to be to no avail. I want you to know that I think you are worth the internal struggle that I am going through. Most of the time, when I have to fight to maintain a friendship, I give up and walk away. You have been there for me for years now, and I don't want to loose your friendship. I am afraid that I am loosing you to other things, and I don't like the feeling. I wish I knew how to make things better; I wish I knew how to make it all better again. :/
Kerry, I thought you loved me? You told me that countless times. *(Now, to clarify this to other readers, I mean as a friend.)* Are you a liar? Were you just playing games with me? You lead me on for weeks thinking that our friendship was just fine, and then all of the sudden, you turn around and cut off all ties with me. Pardon my french, but, WHAT THE HELL?!?! I sincerely care about you. You are such an amazing person. I don't know what to think of you anymore. I stood by you the whole time, fighting for you. Through everything that went on with other people, I stood out there fighting on your side, only for you to return by stabbing me in the back. I wrote letters to you when I was gone. I wrote 30-40 letters telling you how I was okay, and letting you know what happened. I was going to send them all to you to show you how much I care. I am sorry that I went away. I am sorry you didn't know what happened. If I could go back and change it, I would. If I could go back and change everything about what happened, I would. It was an honor to meet you, and it was a pleasure being your friend. I wish we could still be friends, and the choice is yours, it always has been.
Kersty, You are my little sister, but I don't know what to think about you. You can relate to me a lot, if you just sat down and looked at our similarities. I wish I could take all of your pain away, I wish i could let you see how pretty you really are. You are gorgeous, and I wish that you didn't have to go through all the things that you do. I would gladly go through all the pain you are having now, if it meant that you didn't have to go through it. I have struggled liking myself for almost twenty years now. I know exactly how it feels. If I could be a different person, I would be. I detest who I am, and what I have done. Please don't be like the others; please don't leave me.
Well, that's it for now. I will write again really soon. I have so much I want to talk about.
If you are reading this, I want to say thank you. I keep a lot of my feelings bottled up inside me, and they eat at me until i explode with emotion. By you reading this, you are giving me a voice. You are giving me a release. You are being someone that I can talk to, even if I don't know you. I appreciate you "listening" to me, and my feelings. If you have something you would like to say to me, please comment on this blog, right below. Thank you.
Luc A. Colgrove
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