Luc's Blog

Fires ablaze within my eyes, A smile concealing all my lies, Screaming, begging, calling out, A final, frantic, desperate, shout. Scarlet tears drip from each vein, A vehement covet to end this pain, This silver blade, stays by my side, Because all hope inside has died. As each day ends, and darkness draws, The devil toys, with all my flaws, I'm helpless, alone, a worthless mess, A broken child, he must address. I'm tempted when he calls my name, A way out, an escape, an end to shame, To make it feel a lot less real, A deal with the Devil, in blood must I seal. They'll say I died of suicide, But no one knows how much they've lied, It wasn't a rope, a blade, or pills, That broke my soul, and gave me chills. I died inside so long before, To live each day, an endless chore, Pills could not kill what was already dead, A twisted soul, an empty head. In darkness I wait, in silence, alone, Rose-tinted nostalgia, all around me has grown, I beckon the devil, with the key of ...

My Year of Gratitude - Day 2 January 2, 2015 Yesterday, I mentioned my first new friend of the new year. Today, I am especially grateful for my astrological twin, and amazing friend, Jessica Wright. The past two days talking with her have seemed like forever. Our discussions are very easily sidetracked, but I am certainly enjoying a very professional, sophisticated, philosophical friend. She's awesome at making me think, and making me smile. Not only am I grateful for Jessica, but all of my outstanding friends. I couldn't be more thankful to have some amazing companions in my support system. Melissa, Mikayla, Samuel, Taylor, Jamie, and Katlyn to mention a few. I am thankful for the amazing family I have as well. We may not be whole anymore physically, but we are sticking together, and still standing strong. What's gonna be day three? Come back tomorrow! :D Love, Luc 

My razorblade slips across my milky skin, I can't believe I am feeling this way again. I have a strong source of joy in my life, Yet I am forced to endure so much strife. I found an anchor, I found a friend You know she's kept me from the end. I know exactly where I'd be, If she hadn't befriended me. It's crazy to think that it can all  be taken away with just a fall, into that deep, controlling pit and now, there's no escaping it.  What will you do after I've gone? Will you be one who moves along? Will you let me die in vain, Or will you help ease another's pain? There is no way to escape it,  that overwhelming, midnight pit. So as it dances in the bloody rain And stains my ugly milky skin Please don't let this be in vain. Please don't talk down on me again. 

Well, I saw my friend Lyndee on Facebook post about writing on things you are grateful for. So, Here it goes. (1) My Year of Gratitude - Day 1 January 1, 2015 There are many things to be grateful for. The day started out very well, with me playing music for my family who was at our house. Shortly after that, I gained my first friend of the new year. Today, I am grateful for new starts, and the opportunity for new experiences. These new starts can come more often than yearly, if you let them. You get a new start every second, every minute, every hour, every day, week, and month. Resolutions are made by about 40% of Americans. Unfortunately, only 8% successfully complete their resolutions. Those resolutions are often broken because they are personality changes. Trying a technical resolution may be more successful. (2) The technical resolution which I am going to complete this year is work towards being fluent in a different language.  Please feel free to check back tomorrow...

Well, after being gone since June of 2013, it is very nice to be back home

As one may gather from the lead photo, I am feeling very lonely lately. I can't help but imagine a perfect life, where I have a beautiful girlfriend and the relationship is in the stage where we are planning the rest of our lives together. The primary problem I see with that is that I have literally zero experience with relationships. As much as I hate to admit it, I have never been involved in a serious, romantic relationship of any sort. This raises self-doubt about my ability to succeed in a relationship. Aside from the lack of relationships, I believe that I have been successful in obtaining and maintaining long term friendships, which is a less complicated version of a romantic relationship. It certainly is a relationship of some form.  This lonely feeling is driven by many things, most of which I am not willing to disclose at this point. Part of it stems from being around so many who brag about their successful attempts at romance. Most of them are talking about sign...